“I knew what I wanted; I went in and got it

Did all the things that you said that I wouldn’t

I told you that I would never be forgotten

And all in spite of you”—Sia, “Alive”

Being in a relationship with a narcissist means putting yourself last, always, or you will be punished. In 2017, I worked hard on relearning self care. Here are some of my favorite ways I cared for myself, in no particular order:

1. I learned how to do my makeup. I take time to do it every day.
2. I style my hair in the morning.
3. I get regular hair cuts.
4. I bought a full length mirror. I look in the mirror and I’m happy with what I see for the first time in my life.
5. I go to therapy weekly.
6. I went to the doctor and even had an out patient medical procedure.
7. I bought a house.
8. I finalized my divorce.
9. I took my ex back to court to protect my children instead of arguing endlessly with him.
10. I started taking aerial silks classes.
11. I got a new tattoo to celebrate myself.
12. I lost 38 pounds and two pant sizes. I’m back to my normal weight.
13. I went on 14 dates with 8 different guys and learned something each time.
14. I go out with my friends. Sometimes it’s even my idea.
15. I bought myself clothes that I like.
16. I stopped my ex-narcissist mid-criticism, told him to say “thank you” instead, and walked away from that asshole.
17. I write.