“I knew what I wanted; I went in and got it
Did all the things that you said that I wouldn’t
I told you that I would never be forgotten
And all in spite of you”—Sia, “Alive”
Being in a relationship with a narcissist means putting yourself last, always, or you will be punished. In 2017, I worked hard on relearning self care. Here are some of my favorite ways I cared for myself, in no particular order:
- I learned how to do my makeup. I take time to do it every day.
- I style my hair in the morning.
- I get regular hair cuts.
- I bought a full length mirror. I look in the mirror and I’m happy with what I see for the first time in my life.
- I go to therapy weekly.
- I went to the doctor and even had an out patient medical procedure.
- I bought a house.
- I finalized my divorce.
- I took my ex back to court to protect my children instead of arguing endlessly with him.
- I started taking aerial silks classes.
- I got a new tattoo to celebrate myself.
- I lost 38 pounds and two pant sizes. I’m back to my normal weight.
- I went on 14 dates with 8 different guys and learned something each time.
- I go out with my friends. Sometimes it’s even my idea.
- I bought myself clothes that I like.
- I stopped my ex-narcissist mid-criticism, told him to say “thank you” instead, and walked away from that asshole.
- I write.